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She was hoping the first woman would be out of the picture and she could finally have me.
I felt guilty, loving one but not wanting to hurt the other.
Although the specifics of her story are very different from what happened to me, the feelings she described were enough to remind me of where I was four years ago this month. She has two men who want to marry her, but she can’t decide what to do.
She’s dated both of them, but the relationships have been very different. She saw things in him that she knew needed work — for both of them. There aren’t the highs and lows, but there also isn’t the magical connection.
As Ashley told me her story, I flashed back to July of 2008.
When I talked with Ashley Saturday, I gave her two pieces of advice. If you’re sure you love one of them, choose him over the other one, even if the other choice is more stable and seems like more of a “sure thing.” There’s a reason that most of our songs in life are about intense love, lost love and being desperate for real emotional connection.In the spring and early summer of 2008, the first woman and I had talked a lot of marriage.I had some legitimate fears about things in her that I didn’t understand at the time, but I knew I loved her and wanted her.I told her which choice made sense to me — based on what she was saying — but I told her whether she agreed or not, she had to make a choice. (I gave her my card and asked her to let me know what she did.) After she walked away, all I was left with was to ponder my own history — and my own devastating loss.I watched the love I wanted and needed get washed away because of my indecision.